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De beste Monty Python-sitatene

Sist oppdatert:
Tidenes morsomste humorister er utvilsomt en gjeng med rare engelskmenn. Her får du deres morsomste øyeblikk.

Har du lyst til å laste ned Monty Pythons sketsjer og sanger, kan du gjøre det her.

1. Mr. Praline: It's not pinin'! It's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, Itrests in peace! If you hadn't nailed it to the perch it'd be pushing up the daisies! It's metabolic processes are now history! It's off the twig! It's kicked the bucket, it's shuffled off it's mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!

2. French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

3. Customer: I've come about your advert—"Small white pussy cat for sale. Excellent condition."

Shopkeeper: Ah. You wish to buy it?

Customer: That's right. Just for the hour.

4. Norman: Your wife... does she, er, does she "go"? Eh? Eh? Know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Say no more!

Man: Hmm. She sometimes does, yes.

Norman: I bet she does! I bet she does!

5. RSM: Look, I'm only doing my job. I have to show you how to defend yourself against fresh fruit.

Fourth Man: And pointed sticks.

RSM: Shut up!

6. Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant who was very rarely stable. Heideggar, Heideggar was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table. David Hume could out-consume Schopenhauer and Hegel. Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am."

7. It was the dreaded three-headed knight, the fiercest creature for yards around!

8. Social Worker: You vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous, pervert!

Man: What? I came here for an argument!

Social Worker: Oh, sorry, this is "Abuse".

9.King Arthur: I am your king!

Woman: Well I didn't vote for you!

King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.

Woman: Well how'd you become king then?

King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king!

Dennis: interrupting Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!

10. There's nothing an agnostic can't do if he doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not.

og denne sekvensen fra The life of Brian er nærmest legendarisk (blant annet den som gjorde filmen forbudt i Norge)

EL : Spare a talent for an old ex-leper, sir.

B : Did you say -- ex-leper?

EL : That's right, sir. (he salutes) ... sixteen years behind the bell, and proud of it, thank you sir.

B : What happened?

EL : I was cured, sir.

B : Cured?

EL : Yes sir, a bloody miracle, sir. Bless you.

B : Who cured you?

EL : Jesus did. I was hopping along, when suddenly he comes and cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next moment me livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by your leave. Look. I'm not saying that being a leper was a bowl of cherries. But it was a living. I mean, you try waving muscular suntanned limbs in people's faces demanding compassion. It's a bloody disaster.

M : You could go and get yourself a decent job, couldn't you?

EL : Look, sir, my family has been in begging six generations. I'm not about to become a goat-herd, just because some long-haired conjuror starts mucking about.

Og denne er vel strengt tatt bare John Cleese:

German: Will you stop talking about the war!

Basil: Me? You started it!

German: We did not start it.

Basil: Yes you did, you invaded Poland!

Har du lyst til å laste ned Monty Pythons sketsjer og sanger, kan du gjøre det her.

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