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De beste stand-up-sitatene

Noen komikere er morsommere enn de fleste, og vi har samlet de ti beste sitatene fra verdens toppkomikere. Les dem her.

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1. When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic.... When he gets older, I’d tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn’t obey. - Steven Wright

2. One of my big fears in life is that I'm gonna die and my parents are going to come to clean out my apartment and find that porno wing I've been adding on to for years. - Bill Hicks

3. Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they? - George Carlin

4. Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches. - Jim Carrey

5. Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults as rotten SOB's, given to fistfights, gunplay, and other mayhem. Kids who believe this about grownups aren't likely to argue about bedtime. - P.J. O'Rourke

6. I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up. - Lenny Bruce

7. I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her. - Ellen deGeneres

8. A lot of controversy over this possible invasion of Iraq. In fact, Nelson Mandela was so upset, he called Bush's dad. How embarrassing, when world leaders start calling your father. - Jay Leno

9. "We live in a country where John Lennon takes six bullets in the chest. Yoko Ono is standing right next to him. Not one F**king bullet. Explain that to me! Explain that to me!" - Denis Leary

10. "I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine." - Spike Milligan


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